Monday, August 24, 2009

FTE On Tour_TEXAS: (Part 3;Final) 8/16-"Love In Iraan"

OUT OF GAS.

Smack dab in the middle of Texas. Hmm.

The Fairies realised that they must've miscalculated thier diesel gas reserve. Lunette is is fiesty, hard-workin' '93 ford with a lot of get-up-n' go and good brakes. She purrs like a kitten and runs like a stallion. But her gas gauge is...a bit off. Could be a half-tank, could be a quarter, could be running on frickin' fumes.

Our assesment of (actually) how much gas we have needed to be adjusted. Since she gets ____ miles to the gallon and the tanks holds ____ gallons, we would have to get a refill every _______miles. OOOOOK. Now we know. now all we have to do is get some help.

Huge trucks whizz by, stirring up a swirl of Texas dust with Texas heat. The fairies whips into action, quickly creating a huge sign that says, "OUT OF DEISEL. NEED HELP". (Fairies need spellcheck too.)

The sign stops a guy in a truck who responds with "What do 'ya want me ta do about it?". Hmm. Not the help we were looking for.

Another truck stops. A friendly gentleman (Terrance) from Florida steps out and asks what he can do. C•SPOT & ROSE spring into action and hop into the back of his truck as ERIN and myself wait in Lunette.

30 minutes pass. No fairies. The sun beats down on ERIN & I as we pace & hydrate.

Just then, we are joined by a Texas State Trooper. He was shockingly cool for a cop. He hung out with us and told us stories about the area. Apparently, we were at a prime spot for illegals traveling from Mexico.

He also offered us to sit in his car (for the air conditioning) and played his iPod through the car's sound system. He rocked Dave Chapelle's "P*ss On You" and a selection of songs by 50 Cent. Hmm. Not MY idea of a Texas state trooper. I stand corrected. One size does NOT fit all.

After about an hour and a half (And a visit from another trooper who traded stories about Speeders) ROSE & C•Spot returns with plastic containers filled with deisel...I mean, diesel gas.
We put in the gas, spilling it all over ourselves, hop on the bus, stick the key in the ignition and...

Lunette refuses to start. Too much air in the gas line. The trooper calls his mechanic friend who comes and helps us out. He sprays ether (an explosive aerosal) into the motor with a lit cigarette dangling from his lip. I suppose you call this "Texas Style".

We finally get on our way as the sky darkens into another pitch black starscape. Tired and hungry, we pull into a Kwicky mart/ Godfather's Pizza for rest stop. Parked in the front lot was a pickup truck with the Haliburton logo on the side. I was suddenly overcome with an urge to sing OBAMASONG.

The Faries keep spirits up by dancing to a car alarm. Two men notice this and strike up a conversation. They are very cool oil welders who invite us to camp at thier trailer park. After getting a mess of BBQ wings from the pizza shop, we headed over to set up our next fairy camp-with a bunch o' good ol' boys and a couple 'o cases o' Bud.

For the rest of the night, we laughed and sang and had a great time with these guys. They were perfect gentlemen with great stories a Hi-Tech RV that they gave us unlimited access to.

We must have made a good impression (I don't think they've ever seen faries before) because they told us that they would PAY for us to stay and do a show for their small Texan trailer park community.

Rose cooks up a mulligan stew, we trade jokes, drink too much beer and sleep.

After sleeping in (Whew! we needed that!), we wrote a new (adult) fairytale about a Dragon/Fairy relationship and performed it for the guys.


They were delighted and favored the love scene. It was one of our best shows, yet.










Our Host Was BRIAN (Angel of Texas#2) and CUP (sorry, didn't get the last names) who were quite forthcoming with unconditional love and support for our mission. BRIAN let us ride his motorbike and CUP shared with us his stories of being in the Rodeo (and in the Navy S.E.A.L.s).

The Constable of IRAAN, TEXAS stopped by to chat, quite entertained by the fairies. He assured us that we were breaking no laws by drinking 40 beers.

Exhaling a sigh of relief, we continued to chill with him.

After he left, 3 unmarked cop cars pull up and 3 Sheriff's deputies get out.

"The constable called you. Right? Told you there were some faries here, right?", I asked them, directly.

"Yup.", They replied. "You guys are fine. We're just gonna hang."

Exhaling another sigh of relief,

we continued to chill, getting our "Texas Style" buzz on.

(ROSE'S hysterical Youtube VIDEO)

We awaken to the blazing hot Texas sun, hopefully for the last time. After a quick fairy meeting we decide to leave the SEXTOPUS sculpture on Brian's RV as an installation.

And in a blast of Texas dust & heat, Lunette scurries away, westward & beyond.


NEXT: THE ROSWELL EXPERIENCE


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